I think my fart just growled at me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
