He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
