Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
