so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
