We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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