Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
