just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
