Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Green mimosas i think yes
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
