The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
