I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
