My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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