alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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