My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
