She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
