I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
