You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
