Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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