You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
