i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
