i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
