I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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