When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
In America we eat man semen.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
