so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
