I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
