There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
