yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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