Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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