Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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