so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i need some magic done to my vagina
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
