just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
