Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
