Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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