Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize