fuck your aforementioned shoe
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
