Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize