Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We are all done wearing pants today
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
