see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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