I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The air was thick with penises
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
