you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
