Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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