I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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