At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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