I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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