Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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