Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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