i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
