You really coming over, don't trick.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
