I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
