Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
