Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize