Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
These tits shall not be calmed
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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