Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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