I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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